What are my options if my husband and I disagree on our divorce settlement?
He's still living in our co-owned home and won’t release my half of the equity—$150,000. He gives me small sums to cover bills, then complains and stops helping. I want to stop his financial control and know my legal options.
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It appears that mediation is required in California when custody is contested. Here's a good article about mediation specifically in California. (CA Fam Code § 3170)
You should be able to request mediation using California Judicial Council Form FL-300: Request for Order.
You can use this guide to request temporary support: Request for Order Guide.
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My husband and I are going through a divorce. We planned to settle outside of court with our own MSA, but after 10 months of separation, we haven't agreed on spousal or child support. I was a stay-at-home mom finishing my bachelor’s degree at SDSU while caring for our children.
He's still living in our co-owned home and won’t release my half of the equity—$150,000. He gives me small sums to cover bills, then complains and stops helping. I want to stop his financial control and know my legal options.
Is there anything else the Family Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured they'll be able to help with your divorce.
No, that's pretty much it.
Hello, welcome to AskALawyer! I'm AnastaciaEsq, an attorney on this site. I understand you're having an issue with settling your divorce. Has a complaint for divorce been filed yet?
Yes. He filed on Nov 8, 2024. I responded and asked the judge to wait on making decisions until we finalized the MSA, but now I need the court to step in for support and equity. We agreed to split the house equity but he’s adding $22K in expenses he says he covered during our separation and is withholding the money. He says I need to budget and find a job, but he’s withholding my share and controlling the finances.
Thank you for explaining. It seems you two can’t settle child support, spousal support, or property division. Judges don’t issue rulings without a hearing or trial. If you haven’t tried mediation, request it. If he refuses, file a motion for court-ordered mediation.
What motion do I file to notify the court that we couldn’t reach an agreement and I want the judge to decide on support and equity for our child? Our divorce is filed in California.
It appears that mediation is required in California when custody is contested. Here's a good article about mediation specifically in California. (CA Fam Code § 3170)
You should be able to request mediation using California Judicial Council Form FL-300: Request for Order.
You can use this guide to request temporary support: Request for Order Guide.
Can he legally withhold my $150K or deduct the $22K without a signed agreement or court order?
No. He cannot unilaterally decide how to divide marital property. That requires your agreement or a court order.
While waiting for mediation or trial, how can I request temporary support?
Also file that through Form FL-300. Explain your financial hardship clearly—being a stay-at-home mom, lack of access to support until recently, and current living conditions.
Is your custody contested? If not, you likely won’t need mediation for custody. But still consider it for financial matters. Read about California mediation: Divorce Mediation in CA.
Thanks. I’m not working now but could earn $60–80K. He makes $175K. He pays for insurance and after-school care. What should I request for child and spousal support?
Use the California Guideline Calculator for child support estimates. Spousal support is a complex issue and is determined by many factors. I suggest you consult with a California licensed attorney to get an idea about what you might be entitled to, based on the totality of your circumstances.
