1. Automatic Custody: In New York, an unmarried mother automatically has sole legal and physical custody of a child at birth. This means you have the right to make decisions regarding the child's upbringing, including education and healthcare.
2. Establishing Paternity: for the father to gain legal rights, he must establish paternity. This can be done by signing an Acknowledgement of Paternity or establishing paternity through the court. Once paternity is established, both parents have equal rights regarding custody and visitation. However, since the father has not legally established custody and visitation, there is no order to enforce on his behalf. If he objects to your requirements regarding visitation, you have the right to restrict visitation.
3. Custody and Visitation Rights: Unmarried parents can petition the court for custody and visitation rights. The court will make decisions based upon the best interests of the child and they will consider factors such as the child's relationship with each parent and the ability of each parent to provide a stable environment.
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Hello, good afternoon. What exactly are my rights in the state of New York as a mother?
I understand that knowing your rights as a mother is very important. Can you specify whether you are inquiring about custody, child support, or another aspect of parental rights?
Custody and parental rights.
Are you currently facing any legal issues or disputes related to your rights as a mother in New York?
I’m trying to petition for a custodial visitation agreement for my child’s father.
Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured they'll be able to help with your custodial visitation agreement.
There is no court-ordered agreement. His father and I were never married and don’t live together, and we cannot agree on a visitation schedule The days he does pick up the baby, he makes things very difficult.
Hello! My name is Melissa and I have been an attorney for over 20 years. I am happy to help you with your question!
Hello, I was wondering my rights as a mother for visitation.
Absolutely! Let's walk through that. So I can better understand, are you wondering what rights the father would have, or what rights you currently have?
Yes, both.
1. Automatic Custody: In New York, an unmarried mother automatically has sole legal and physical custody of a child at birth. This means you have the right to make decisions regarding the child's upbringing, including education and healthcare.
2. Establishing Paternity: for the father to gain legal rights, he must establish paternity. This can be done by signing an Acknowledgement of Paternity or establishing paternity through the court. Once paternity is established, both parents have equal rights regarding custody and visitation. However, since the father has not legally established custody and visitation, there is no order to enforce on his behalf. If he objects to your requirements regarding visitation, you have the right to restrict visitation.
3. Custody and Visitation Rights: Unmarried parents can petition the court for custody and visitation rights. The court will make decisions based upon the best interests of the child and they will consider factors such as the child's relationship with each parent and the ability of each parent to provide a stable environment.
He already acknowledged paternity, so how does that work?
So, if my child’s father is constantly working with only 1- 2 days off, how would visitation work?
If dad has not yet petitioned for visitation and custody, then there is no order for the father to enforce. If he wants to establish a visitation schedule, he would need to go to the court.
It depends on what type of visitation he is seeking. When you ask how that would work, would you mind clarifying how I can help you?
And if I don’t want him to have visitation until an agreement is established through court, can I do that, and how would that look in court if he were to argue against?
I’m asking how many days he would have; he’s arguing for 3-4 days when we only spoke on his off days. We tried to do agreements without the court's help but every time he gets upset, he changes up.
Let me answer these in order:
"And if I don’t want him to have visitation until an agreement is established through court, can I do that, and how would that look in court if he were to argue against?"
You can do that. The only concern is that when or it you go to court to establish visitation, he may try to use it against you saying that you are withholding the child. However, I rarely see the court punish a parent for insisting on having an established visitation order.
"I’m asking how many days he would have; he’s arguing for 3-4 days when we only spoke on his off days. We tried to do agreements without the court's help but every time he gets upset, he changes up."
I cannot fully answer that since I do not know what facts either of you would present. The general preference of the court is for parents to share physical custody, but that can be modified for a variety of reasons such as work schedules, history of care for the child, any domestic violence, etc.
He only has about 1-2 days off a week, plus picks up a lot of overtime shifts, and I already had a conversation with him about it to stop working on his off days, and he still does. When we spoke on co-parenting, he told me he doesn’t feel the need to get the baby anything for his house because he’s rarely home.
I work monday through friday 12-6.
I have returned to work from leave, so I’m working 9-6. Originally, we spoke about him watching the baby while I'm at work till he returns to work. This was only for one week. Originally, he was staying the night, dropping me off at work, taking the baby to his house, and picking me up from work. Then he got upset and started going home and picking up the baby. The original agreement was pick up by 8, drop off at 6. He came late every time which, in turn, made me late for work.
I realized the morning pickups were not working, and he was complaining about being too tired to pick up as his reason for always being late. So I figured out something else in the morning and told him he can see him on his off days, like we originally agreed upon. Now he’s upset and saying I’m illegally withholding the baby.
The last two days, we have done the drop off, but it’s still not working.
So, I just want to go to court to establish an agreement.
It does sound like the best plan is to insist on a court order. He can seek visitation that way. Then there is less pressure on you to deny the visits.
So would it be smarter to petition for visits first and then deny visits until it gets figured out in court?
I can't advise you directly what to do, but if you can't reach an agreement between you, the only alternative is to address this with the court.
But once again, I have the right to deny visits as of right now until the court corrects?
I can't advise you to deny the visits, but in the absence of a court order, there is nothing for him to enforce the visitation he wants.
Is there anything else I can clarify or explain further for you today?
As far as the history of care for the child, I would need solid evidence for the court, correct?
and what can I use as evidence
You would be wanting to show the court who has been the primary caretaker, who the child primarily resides with, who is responsible for doctor's visits, daycare, any schooling, etc.
You could start a log book, doctor's notes, or even complete an affidavit stating you are the primary caretaker. But, any hard evidence you can gather (meaning tangible evidence) would be even better.
If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to reach back out! Thank you for allowing me to assist you today!
