What you’re describing falls into the area of defamation law, but because this is happening in a private Facebook group chat and involves both your name and your children, it carries some additional considerations. Slander usually refers to spoken false statements, while libel refers to written ones. In your situation, because it is being written and shared in group chats, it is closer to libel. To pursue any action, the first and most important step is documentation. If you can, you’ll want to get screenshots of the posts, chats, or any messages where these false statements are being made. Even if you are no longer in the group, if trusted friends are, they may be able to help gather that proof. Without evidence, it becomes a matter of your word against theirs, which is difficult to take forward.
Once documented, you have several potential paths. One option is to report the posts and group to Facebook itself for violating their policies against harassment and bullying. Sometimes this alone is enough to have the posts removed and the account sanctioned. Another step is to send a cease and desist letter, often through an attorney, which formally demands that the person stop making false statements and retract the ones already made. This can be very effective if the person is not prepared for legal consequences.
If the harm is significant—for example, if the accusations are damaging your reputation in the community, impacting your business, or causing measurable distress—you could consider filing a defamation lawsuit in civil court. That requires showing the statements are false, were published to others, and caused you harm. In certain situations, if the statements rise to accusations of criminal activity or child abuse, then they could be considered defamation per se, meaning damages are presumed, and you don’t have to prove financial harm.
As for your horses and equipment, that sounds like a separate legal issue involving property rights or possibly conversion (wrongful taking of property). You may have a civil claim against her for taking your horses, tack, and trailer if she had no legal right to do so. If you had an agreement about boarding and she took possession beyond the terms of that agreement, it may strengthen your claim. That could be handled either in small claims court (depending on the value of the tack and trailer) or in a larger civil action if the value is higher. It might also warrant contacting local law enforcement if you believe there was theft.
I would recommend speaking with a local attorney who practices both civil litigation and defamation, as they can help you decide whether a strongly worded cease and desist letter is the right first step or if it’s better to pursue claims in court. But for now, document everything—dates, times, what was said, and any losses or reputational harm you’ve suffered. That will make your position far stronger when you decide how to move forward.
I hope I was able to help you and answer all of your questions and concerns. Is there any part of my response that you need clarification on or any further information? Did you have any other questions on this subject for me today?