[NY] Can I move my child out of state without legal custody?
The short answer: You can’t just take the child back to New York without court approval since the grandmother has legal custody under a New York order. You and the child’s mother need to formally ask the New York court to transfer custody to you both (or at least to the mother). Until the court grants that change, moving the child could be seen as violating the custody order, even if the grandmother verbally agreed.
Since the grandmother has legal custody through a New York order, only the New York court can change that. A verbal agreement isn’t enough — any custody or relocation must be approved by the court to be valid.
Either a joint or individual filing is fine, but if both of you plan to co-parent in New York, a joint petition shows the court you’re united and stable. If the mother plans to have legal custody and you’re supporting it, she can file, and you can join as a supporting party.
You can go ahead and find a place in New York, but your daughter legally has to stay with the grandmother until the court signs off. Taking her before that could have serious consequences.
Here’s what you need to do:
- File a petition in New York to modify custody.
- Include proposed visitation terms for the grandmother.
- Explain how the move benefits your daughter (stable home, schooling, and contact with grandmother).
If uncontested and the grandmother agrees in writing, it could be fairly quick — maybe a couple of months. If contested, it could take several months or more.
Full Conversation

I’m a Florida resident, and my girlfriend (child’s mother) and I are currently living with the child’s grandmother, who has custody of our daughter. We’re planning on moving back to New York and taking our daughter with us. The grandmother says she’s fine with it as long as she gets visitation rights to see our child. The original court order is in New York. We’re trying to figure out what we need to do to speed up the process. We want to move as soon as possible, but without custody, we’re worried that if we take our daughter back to New York, the grandmother can say we took her without permission. We’re not sure what our options are.

I understand your situation. Have you and your girlfriend discussed this move with the grandmother and agreed on a visitation schedule for her?

We have discussed the move, but the grandmother refuses to make a schedule unless it’s done through the courts. She wants it in writing.

Have you reviewed the original court order from New York to see if it addresses custody and visitation rights for the grandmother?

The grandmother is the one with custody. I, as the dad, have visitation rights as of now because it was never modified.

Is there anything else the family lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured, they’ll be able to help with your custody issue.

No

Hello! My name is Michael, and I’m an attorney ready to help! Your responses matter to me, so I only need a few minutes to review and respond to each of your posts. Have you and the child’s mother considered filing a joint petition in the New York court to request a custody modification, and if so, are you prepared to show how this move would be in the best interest of your daughter?

I am currently looking for an apartment in New York. I haven’t made any final decisions yet because I want to make sure it would be possible for me to bring my daughter with me once we find a place. I don’t want to leave her here and have to pay for two separate places while we wait for a decision from the courts. I don’t know how long that process would take.

We have considered filing a joint petition. We’re trying to figure out if it’s the best idea to file jointly or just let her file for custody and I would be in agreement.

Sure thing! Has a custody case already been filed with the court, or are you still planning to start that process?

Trying to start the process.

Understood! So you’re just wondering what it is you can do here, correct?

Yes. I want to know what my options are.

Ok! Did you need to tell me anything else? If not, I can start with answering your question.

We currently live with the grandmother in her home in Florida. I have been living here since January, and my girlfriend (the child’s mom) has been living with her for over two years.

No problem! I’ll certainly address that. Anything else you’d like to add that you think is relevant before I answer?

I think that is all for now, thank you!

Ok! I just need a little time to draft up a high-quality answer. I’ll be with you as soon as possible. It won’t be terribly long, ok?

Thank you.

I’m so sorry about this situation! I want to address your situation with a detailed response, so if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask, because this law stuff can get complicated.

The short answer: You can’t just take the child back to New York without court approval since the grandmother has legal custody under a New York order. You and the child’s mother need to formally ask the New York court to transfer custody to you both (or at least to the mother). Until the court grants that change, moving the child could be seen as violating the custody order, even if the grandmother verbally agreed.
Since the grandmother has legal custody through a New York order, only the New York court can change that. A verbal agreement isn’t enough — any custody or relocation must be approved by the court to be valid.
Either a joint or individual filing is fine, but if both of you plan to co-parent in New York, a joint petition shows the court you’re united and stable. If the mother plans to have legal custody and you’re supporting it, she can file, and you can join as a supporting party.
You can go ahead and find a place in New York, but your daughter legally has to stay with the grandmother until the court signs off. Taking her before that could have serious consequences.
Here’s what you need to do:
- File a petition in New York to modify custody.
- Include proposed visitation terms for the grandmother.
- Explain how the move benefits your daughter (stable home, schooling, and contact with grandmother).
If uncontested and the grandmother agrees in writing, it could be fairly quick — maybe a couple of months. If contested, it could take several months or more.

Does that help clarify things?

Yes, that does clarify, thank you for your help!

For sure! Did I thoroughly address your question? Did I provide top-tier service to you? If the answer is no to either, please let me know so I can help! I know it’s a lot.

Yes, you did, thank you.

Thank you so much for contacting us! We’re happy to help whenever you need it.