[TX] What legal steps can I take if relatives accessed my elderly mother’s home, private information, and voicemail recordings?

I have a complex legal situation. It may be criminal or civil; it may involve elder abuse. I ran it by my estate planning attorney, but this type of situation is not her specialty, but she urged me to get a legal consultation.

It's a long story, involves many details. I already have the situation written out to the best of my ability, but it will be several paragraphs long.

I already presented this information to my estate planning attorney. This situation involves incidents that are not her specialty, but she urged me to get a legal consultation. She thinks it may involve civil litigation. I submitted my situation to a local online lawyer referral service, but the computer program couldn't match me with an attorney.

Here is the whole story, as concisely as I can present it.

1. My cousin and her husband somehow obtained multiple voice recordings that I left on my mother’s answering machine, which is connected to my mother’s physical land line and to her private number.
2. My cousin and her husband then “bundled” all these voice mail recordings together.
3. This “bundle” was sent to me in a text message sound recording, followed by the texted statement, “This is what you are.”
4. This was followed by the texted statements, “I’m too sick to put up with you. I am not bothering to read this. Just consider me dead and [my cousin] too” and a brief repetition of the same information.
5. This was followed by the texted statements, “Blocking [my] phone. Blocked [my friend’s] phone. Leave us alone to die.”

In addition, when I listen to the recorded “bundle” of voice mail messages, I can hear snickering and comments in the background; I definitely recognize my cousin’s voice. I personally perceive this as a threat, intimidation, or attempt at blackmail. I called my mother on her private land line, I left voice mail messages on her machine, I did not give anyone consent to record these messages or listen to these messages. I personally did not have conversations with these individuals; this is not a case of me directly contacting these individuals and having a conversation with them or a case of these individuals calling me directly and engaging me in conversation.

Also, previous to the date that the “bundle” was sent to me, my cousin and her husband sent a third party, an individual they knew, to my mother’s house. This third party did not know my mother; this third party did not know me; this third party was a complete stranger to both me and my mother. However, my mother is 93 years old, has been diagnosed with dementia, and is naive: she opens the door to anyone. This third party individual claimed she was an “organizer” sent by my cousin. However, this third party individual organized nothing in my mother’s house, which at the time was a filthy, hoarder house. I have written evidence that this individual accessed my mother’s private information; I do not know how much private information she accessed or accessed beyond what I have evidence to prove.

My mother’s dementia affects her memory and there is no way for me to obtain a clear account of what happened from my mother: she has given me contradictory accounts, such as this third party individual was in the house, she was not in the house, did nothing, did do something, etc. I was advised by my mother’s estate attorney to obtain a referral to an attorney to assess this situation and provide legal counsel.

I emphasize that this “bundle” along with the accompanying texts strikes me as a form of threat, intimidation, or possible implied blackmail. It has caused me immense psychological trauma. I feel that my elderly 93-year-old mother, diagnosed with dementia, was unduly influenced into admitting this third party into her home; that this third party gained entrance to my mother’s home under false pretenses, i.e., providing “organizing” services. I feel it is possible that this third party gained entrance into my mother’s house for the express purpose of recording these private voice mail messages and then passing them along to my cousin and her husband. There are also other issues and events involved and interrelated.

The evidence: I have a list in the third party's handwriting, not mine, not my mother's, that lists many neighbors, relatives, this third party, my cousin and her husband's, etc. names, phone numbers, etc. This means that this person looked through my mother's multiple address books and potentially gathered all this info for my cousin and her husband's use, as future contacts, potential allies, etc.

My mother is 93, will be 94 in a month; she has definitely been diagnosed with dementia. She is very naive: she opens the door to anyone, including door to door salesmen, complete strangers, etc. My mother's home at that time was filthy and a hoarder house; this alleged "organizer" did absolutely nothing; no trash taken out; no cleaning; no moving obstacles out of walkways, nothing. She could have been doing anything in my mother's house. My mother's dementia affects her memory and she has given me contradictory accounts of what happened: what this person said to her, where she was in the house, what documents she looked at or didn't look at, etc.

There are other factors. This third party individual threatened my friend and roommate, stating she would call the police on him. He could have potentially lost his job, as he works in a very sensitive security position.

In addition, soon after this individual had left my mother's house, the police showed up and involuntarily committed me to the county psychiatric hospital. I was detained for 3 days. Nothing was explained to me, either by the police or the psychiatric ward, either when I was admitted or when I left. My only clue as to what happened was my mother shouting, "[3rd party] did this!" as the police were escorting me away.

Dallas County, Texas.

Also, I've found evidence through TruthFinder that this third party has a connection to my cousin through an email address.

My cousin was a therapist; this third party could have been a former client. In addition, my cousin's husband owned and operated a janitorial supply business, so if indeed this third party had worked as some kind of "organizer" at some point, then my cousin's husband could have met her through business.

I know the third party's name. I looked her up through TruthFinder. According to that site, she lives in the same city as my cousin and her husband. It looks like she has owned/operated series of independent businesses, i.e. make-up consultant, that didn't last long or low paying jobs like an optician. I can look up this info again; I'm just writing from memory regarding her background info.

OK, I would have to think about it, but I can give you some approximates. All of this happened close to Thanksgiving 2024, maybe a week before Thanksgiving and a week after. So perhaps a week after the third party's accessing my mother's home, the police were involved.

Also, I am my mother's agent; I hold Statutory Durable Power of Attorney and have done so since 2012. I have a good relationship with my mother's doctor of 30 years: I handled all my dad's affairs after his death: cremation, probate, appeared as my mother's representative in court before a judge; I have worked with my mother's law firm since before 2012, I'd have to consult the legal documents for a specific date, and I am continuing to work with my mother's law firm.

I and my roommate/friend currently live with my mother: I am her full-time caregiver, I have home health care established for her, nursing and physical therapy. To put it simply, my cousin has held grudges against me for years, ranging from trivial things to very serious situations, where I prevented my cousin from taking advantage of my mother. I also cut off all of my personal communication with my cousin in 2015 to avoid any and all conflicts; however, I couldn't prevent my mother from associating with my cousin.

I have outlined this situation to my mother’s estate planning attorney; I did not expect her to advise me because these matters are not her area of expertise, but she is puzzled that my cousin and her husband obtained my mother’s private voice mail messages. Multiple messages, all “bundled” together. Not just my voice on the recordings of the answering machine messages: when I listen to “the bundle,” I hear not only my voice, which would be expected, but my cousin’s voice making negative comments and her husband’s voice. I cannot explain how this was done technically. So there are three people, one being an attorney, who cannot figure out how this was done.

Someone would have to enter my mother’s house, go to her land line/answering machine, press “listen to messages,” which would not be difficult to figure out, as my mother has a very primitive answering machine, but then play the messages and record my cousin and my husband reacting. A third party entering my mother’s house would be in an obvious position to do all this, obtaining messages from the answering machine, recording them, then playing them back for my cousin and her husband, and then they could have re-recorded my messages, with their comments in the background, and then sent it to me. The texted sentence under the recording texted to me is “This is what you are.”

Frankly, I do not care what my cousin and her husband think of me, and I am not terribly concerned about what they tell other people, as they have alienated all of my mother’s extended family, and anyone with any common sense and/or knowledge of my character would easily doubt any ludicrous slurs they might cast on me. But they are immensely wealthy and they have attempted to create division between me and my mother for years by taking her to expensive restaurants, paying for some of her bills, etc. I do not have wealth. I am dealing with multiple physical health issues. If they did something like attempt to take me to court, for whatever reason, I most likely would be found “in the right,” but I could not afford to hire an attorney, make multiple court appearances, etc., before a judge ruled in my favor. I am on disability and I am low income. My mother’s health is continuing to decline; her property is in disrepair; I have to make decisions for her future and mine on a very limited income.

2024 was the worst year of my life for a variety of reasons, and my mother, who has no discretion, most likely communicated some of what was going on to my cousin. She saw her chance to get the revenge she has been seeking by sending or paying this third party spy to con her way into my mother’s house. Also, my cousin worked for thirty plus years as a therapist; she is very familiar with “the system.” She used her insider knowledge to make her brother’s life hell when he was caring for their mother, with severe dementia, full-time. Instead of working with him or at least not getting involved, she called APS on him repeatedly. He was providing full-time custodial care, taking on the bulk of a very difficult burden, leaving her carefree, but she still had to make his life hell. I have talked to another cousin, who is deathly afraid of this woman, who had to go into therapy herself to resolve all the trauma this woman caused in her life.

I cannot give this woman or her husband the benefit of the doubt; I cannot assume the best; I have to assume the worst outcome, and I am in no position financially to fight her in some kind of lengthy court case, police investigation, or APS investigation. I have to protect myself and my mother; I need allies; I need strategies or potential strategies. It is possible that my cousin and her husband will show up in this local area in February to see a concert; they may try to gain access to my mother’s house. They have blocked my number; they have blocked my friend’s number, even though I suggested that they appoint a representative, like her husband’s only brother, to talk to my friend or roommate. I am fully prepared to call the police if they show up and tell the police to charge them with trespass.

Since I have power of attorney, I have changed my mother’s phone number, but they do not know that. They have my number and my friend’s number, so if they plan to show up and decide to forewarn my mother or me, they will have to contact either me or my friend, as my mother’s old number is disconnected. I am trying everything I can think of to avoid any conflict, but my cousin is ruthless. And she has the wealth to finance any kind of “campaign” against me.

Look, take your time. To be frank, I'm dealing with a ruthless, vindictive, mentally unstable woman who is married to a spineless man who inherited a fortune. She was bad enough before her marriage; obtaining wealth made her a monster.

She gets away with her behavior because of her wealth and because she knows how to "work the system." She can easily rope in naive, uninformed people by saying, "I'm a therapist; I know about these things." She's pulled the "I'm a therapist" act before, which is why I discontinued all of my personal communication with her. She convinced someone, who was acquainted with my other cousin, that she was "dying" and this person, who was completely innocent and didn't/couldn't know any better, contacted my "good" cousin, very concerned about my evil cousin's alleged upcoming "death."

In early December of this year, my cousin and her husband texted me that they were both "dying." However, I know for a fact that they spent the entire summer either in Big Sur, California, or in Seattle, Washington. If they are both "dying" now, then they would have both had to acquire some fatal illness/condition suddenly and simultaneously. They can't be believed or trusted.

Yes, this is all good information. I'm somewhat doubtful, though, about filing a formal complaint with the police. They may say this stuff, the third party entering my mother's house, is in the past, over and done with, etc. They may say "no harm, no foul" from their criminal perspective, i.e. as soon as possible, I changed all my mother's passwords: online banking, her personal email, etc. so I can't say my cousin/husband/third party stole money from my mother. I don't see how they can contact my mother, at least not by phone, as almost no one knows her new number. My mother called three relatives after I changed her number, but I'm pretty sure none of these people would have anything to do with my cousin, they are mad at her for reasons of their own, etc. BUT it's still possible she could con someone; she's very good at that.

Oh yes, I agree completely regarding record keeping. I am in a somewhat vulnerable position right now. I am having to pay an attorney to get their names off any legal documents related to my mother. I have the SDPOA covered, but I have to pay for the changes to my mother’s medical power of attorney and her will. I do not want them using any kind of past legal documents to say this, that, or the other, like my mother’s true wishes are or were.

I have discussed this situation extensively with you and I will have that on record. I also briefly ran things by my mother’s estate planning attorney; that will be on record by email. I just discussed everything with my therapist, and she has my permission to keep a record of our sessions. I keep my mom’s doctor updated on her condition through the patient portal. I am doing everything in my power to have allies and witnesses if anything comes up. Believe me, I have no desire nor intention to instigate or escalate anything.

I thought I had avoided things like this from happening by cutting off all of my personal communication with my cousin back in 2015 — no phone calls, emails, letters, texts, nothing. But because of my mother’s sentimentality, long story, no need to bore you, I could not keep my mother from associating with my cousin nor convince her not to. Also, my cousin, through her husband’s wealth, could dazzle her with money in ways I could not and cannot.

I have tried to point out to my mother that my cousin has abandoned her. I know they did not see her, do anything for her, send her any gifts, etc., in 2025, and I highly doubt they did much of anything for her in 2024, with the exception being maybe a visit where they could have obtained her voice mail messages themselves.

My mother had only one way to contact them: through the number I have, which they have blocked me from. So in blocking me, they blocked my mother. It's very difficult, though, to convince her of this.

Let's wrap this up for tonight. I've paid for the membership; I can keep the membership if necessary for a few months, or until I have all the documents altered. That will be a BIG relief to my mind once I have that accomplished.

Thanks. I will, if I need to. I hope I won't.