Can a 15-year-old’s preferences support a custody modification based on alleged abuse by the custodial parent?

Family Law

Richard

76,546 satisfied customers

View context

Solved

Yes, your grandson's voice can be influential in court, especially at his age. Here’s how you can approach this situation:

1.Understand the legal framework: In many jurisdictions, courts consider the preferences of children, especially teenagers, when making custody decisions. Your grandson, being 15, is at an age where his opinion can carry significant weight.

2. Document everything: Keep a detailed record of all incidents, including dates, descriptions, and any communications with the father. This documentation can support your grandson's case if he expresses a desire to change his living arrangements.

3. Consult with a family lawyer: A lawyer specializing in family law can provide guidance specific to your state’s laws and help prepare your grandson to speak with the judge. They can also assist in filing any necessary motions to modify custody arrangements.

4. Prepare your grandson: If he is willing, help him articulate his reasons for wanting to live elsewhere. Encourage him to focus on his well-being and safety rather than personal grievances.

5. File a motion to modify custody: With legal assistance, your daughter can file a motion to modify custody based on the new circumstances and your grandson’s expressed wishes.

6. Consider mediation: Before going to court, mediation might be an option to resolve disputes amicably. It can be less adversarial and might lead to a quicker resolution.

Affidavit Form (General)

Create Document

Full Conversation

Hi. My 15-year-old grandson was in an altercation with his dad last week. According to my grandson, his father pushed him down on the couch with his hands on his shoulders. The father then grabbed a pillow and put it over my grandson.

Lexi, Chatbot

I’m sorry to hear about the situation your grandson is facing; it must be very concerning for you. Can you tell me if there have been any previous incidents of conflict between your grandson and his father?

There have been previous conflicts between them. He doesn’t want to take action because he is afraid.

Lexi, Chatbot

Is your grandson currently safe, and has he expressed any desire to take action regarding this incident?

Yes.

Lexi, Chatbot

Is there anything else the family lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured they’ll be able to help with your grandson’s safety concerns.

Yes.

Richard

Hello. My name is Richard, and I have been a licensed attorney for over 25 years and hope to be of assistance. I understand your grandson was involved in an altercation with his father, leading to concerns about his safety. Could you tell me more about any steps you've considered taking regarding this issue? Disclaimer: Just a note—this conversation does not create an attorney-client relationship. I can answer your questions for educational purposes only.

Hello. I am the grandparent, and the father has residential custody. There have always been issues between the father and my grandson.

Please note that the mother—my daughter—is very much involved in the child's life. I’m reaching out to help get answers. CPS was called on the father once, but the case was dismissed. The father talked his way out of the situation (though I can’t, in all honesty, remember what the issue was now). That was about two or three years ago.

The father abuses him verbally, too. He has told him that his son and his friends are “autistic,” for instance. He recently took away his phone—which I pay for—until the end of the year because they had a disagreement, and my grandson isn’t allowed to communicate with anyone. We have to go through the father (although I text and it goes through his computer somehow).

Having the phone is a safety issue. The father is a controlling guy and used to physically go after my daughter, too. I was present for one incident, which was very frightening. My mistake was not calling the police.

Richard

I’m really sorry to hear about the difficult situation your grandson is facing. It sounds very concerning. Could you let me know where this is happening? Knowing the location can help me understand the legal options available. Also, has there been any legal action taken by your daughter or anyone else regarding these incidents?

We have been through the legal process together. I have spent a lot of money on attorneys for my daughter. However, she ended up paying child support of over $1,000/month. I’m quite sure that the father doesn’t want to give that up.

She is a working RN, but that is a large part of her income.

Richard

Given what you’ve described, this is not a garden-variety parenting disagreement. The physical conduct your grandson reported—being pushed down, restrained, and having a pillow placed over his face—meets the legal definition of physical abuse in most states. Coupled with past incidents of aggression toward your daughter and the ongoing verbal degradation, the overall pattern is concerning and raises legitimate safety issues.

A few key points for your daughter to understand:

1.Your grandson’s safety is the priority: At 15, his statements carry weight. A court, a guardian ad litem, or child protective services can consider his version of events, as well as his fear of retaliation. His reluctance to speak up is common in situations involving a controlling parent.

2. Physical conduct like the pillow incident is taken seriously: Even if CPS previously dismissed a case, a new report with new facts is treated as a separate matter. Reports involving suffocation-type behavior are not ignored.

3. The withholding of communication can also be relevant: When a custodial parent cuts off a teen’s access to all outside communication, especially after an altercation, it can be viewed as controlling behavior affecting safety and emotional well-being.

4. Your daughter is not locked into the current custody arrangement forever: While she currently pays support and the father has residential custody, custody orders are always modifiable when there has been a material change in circumstances affecting the child’s welfare. These incidents qualify if they can be documented.

5. The fact that your daughter is a consistent and involved parent matters: Courts generally look favorably at a parent who has maintained involvement, stability, and a willingness to provide appropriate care—especially when the child is a teenager with preferences of their own.

6. If your daughter chooses to take action: Depending on the state, the available paths often include:

Requesting a modification of custody based on endangerment or significant conflict in the home
Requesting temporary emergency orders if the situation escalates
Filing a police report if another physical incident occurs
Documenting all communications, restrictions on contact, threats, or sudden punishments that appear retaliatory
Notifying CPS again if there is another incident, because repeated reports help establish a pattern

7. The financial concern is understandable, but it does not prevent a modification: Child support follows custody—not the other way around. Support cannot be used as leverage against a parent trying to ensure a child’s safety. If custody changes, support changes accordingly.

8. At 15, your grandson’s voice is influential: Most states give teenagers significant input regarding where they feel safe living. The court won’t put him somewhere he deeply fears.

The father has said that he will agree to receive less money every month if only she would write up an agreement and have it signed and notarized by all parties. She will not do that. Her money is sent through the courts.

Richard

It's wise of your daughter to handle child support through the courts, as it ensures everything is documented and legally binding.

So, if my grandson agrees to speak to a judge, there is a chance that the court might listen to him about where he’d like to reside?

Richard

Yes, your grandson's voice can be influential in court, especially at his age. Here’s how you can approach this situation:

4. Prepare your grandson: If he is willing, help him articulate his reasons for wanting to live elsewhere. Encourage him to focus on his well-being and safety rather than personal grievances.

5. File a motion to modify custody: With legal assistance, your daughter can file a motion to modify custody based on the new circumstances and your grandson’s expressed wishes.

6. Consider mediation: Before going to court, mediation might be an option to resolve disputes amicably. It can be less adversarial and might lead to a quicker resolution.

Ok, one more thing: is this a process that should always be done through an attorney? If the cost of an attorney is a bit prohibitive, should she take the chance to navigate all of this on her own?

Richard

If possible, you should use an attorney.

Thank you. Have a great rest of your day!

Richard

You're welcome! I'm glad I could assist you. If you have any more questions in the future, feel free to come back and ask. Have a great day!

Thanks again.

Richard

You're welcome! Take care, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need any more help in the future. Have a wonderful day!

Richard

76,546 satisfied customers

Welcome! Have a similar question?

By messaging AskALawyer, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.

Legal Eagle

Attorney

4.79 (133,377)

Can a parent legally force the return of a gift after estrangement?

Answered 8 hours ago

Richard

4.26 (76,546)

[WA] How do I legally adopt an adult as my child, keeping their birth name, and what documents are required?

Answered 2 days ago

Richard

4.26 (76,546)

[IN] How can I protect myself from false abuse allegations by my spouse while safeguarding my relationship with my child during marital conflict?

Answered 2 days ago

Disclaimer

By messaging AskaLawyer.com, you agree to our Terms and have read our Privacy Policy.

The information provided on AskaLawyer.com is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. While we strive to ensure the accuracy and timeliness of the information presented, we make no guarantees regarding its completeness or applicability to your specific circumstances.

Use of this website does not create an attorney-client relationship between you and AskaLawyer.com or any of its attorneys. Communications through this website, including any responses from attorneys, are not privileged or confidential. For advice tailored to your individual situation, we recommend consulting a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction.

AskaLawyer.com disclaims any liability for actions taken or not taken based on the content of this site. We are not responsible for any third-party content that may be accessed through this website. Reliance on any information provided herein is solely at your own risk.