[MN] Can my ex get a restraining order against my boyfriend if he made no threats?
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It sounds like you’re dealing with a stressful situation, so I want to give you clear guidance on how to protect both your rights and your boyfriend’s rights. Based on everything you’ve shared, here are the key points:
1. A restraining order requires legal grounds.
Courts generally only issue restraining orders when there is evidence of:
- Threats
- Harassment (Chapter 609.748)
- Stalking
- Violence
From what you’ve described:
- Your boyfriend made no threats.
- His messages were only about retrieving his personal property.
- There is no history of physical violence toward your ex-fiancé or the children.
2. Custody and children considerations.
Since the children primarily live with you, and you’re in the process of formalizing custody, the court will evaluate anything involving them based on their best interests. Your boyfriend simply being around the children is not a reason for a restraining order unless there is an actual safety concern.
3. Documentation is essential.
Keep:
- Screenshots of all messages showing there were no threats.
- Notes or records of any interactions between your boyfriend, your ex, and the children that show your boyfriend behaves appropriately.
Steps You Can Take
Respond calmly if a restraining order is filed:
If your ex actually files one, you (or an attorney) can challenge it by showing evidence that your boyfriend did nothing threatening.
Keep communication clean:
- Limit any messages to short, factual statements.
- Avoid arguments or emotional messages that could be twisted into “harassment.”
Prepare for court, if necessary:
- Bring documentation showing your boyfriend acted responsibly.
- Emphasize that the children’s best interests are being maintained (Minn. Stat. § 518.17).
Stay aware:
Even though your boyfriend doesn’t pose a risk, always stay alert to any escalation. Contact law enforcement if your ex ever becomes threatening or harassing.
Bottom Line
Based on what you’ve told me, it is unlikely that a judge would grant a restraining order against your boyfriend for simply asking about a personal belonging—especially when no threats or harassment occurred.
Still, keeping thorough documentation and staying proactive will help protect you if your ex tries to pursue anything legally.
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My ex-fiancé is threatening to get a restraining order against my current boyfriend, saying he won’t be able to come around him OR the kids. Is there any way I can stop him?
Have there been any previous incidents or threats from your ex-fiancé?
My boyfriend messaged him 3 times in one night about getting his own personal property back. That was Sunday night only.
What’s the current custody situation, and how often is your boyfriend around the kids?
No custody order yet. I’m working on the paperwork and looking for a lawyer.
Anything else the lawyer should know?
No.
Hi, I’m Charlie, a licensed attorney. What state do you live in?
Shakopee, Minnesota.
Understood. Has your boyfriend threatened your ex?
No, he hasn’t. No physical or verbal threats.
Was a police report ever made?
No. He asked for a stuffed animal that belonged to his late daughter. My daughter took it to my ex’s house and I can’t get it back. I was also asking his sister about it. We have a screenshot—no threats.
Has your ex actually filed anything yet, or is he just threatening to?
He says he’s filing one so my boyfriend can’t be near my kids, even though he didn’t do anything wrong.
Do the kids live with you?
Yes. They stay with me because I’m close to their school and have more space. He takes them afternoons/evenings while I work, then brings them back. My days are Thursday and Friday; he has weekends.
Anything else?
There was an incident last year between them. My boyfriend attempted to send a message, but still no threats.
Got it. I’ll prepare the response.
I’m ready.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a stressful situation, so I want to give you clear guidance on how to protect both your rights and your boyfriend’s rights. Based on everything you’ve shared, here are the key points:
1. A restraining order requires legal grounds.
Courts generally only issue restraining orders when there is evidence of:
- Threats
- Harassment (Chapter 609.748)
- Stalking
- Violence
From what you’ve described:
- Your boyfriend made no threats.
- His messages were only about retrieving his personal property.
- There is no history of physical violence toward your ex-fiancé or the children.
2. Custody and children considerations.
Since the children primarily live with you, and you’re in the process of formalizing custody, the court will evaluate anything involving them based on their best interests. Your boyfriend simply being around the children is not a reason for a restraining order unless there is an actual safety concern.
3. Documentation is essential.
Keep:
- Screenshots of all messages showing there were no threats.
- Notes or records of any interactions between your boyfriend, your ex, and the children that show your boyfriend behaves appropriately.
Steps You Can Take
Respond calmly if a restraining order is filed:
If your ex actually files one, you (or an attorney) can challenge it by showing evidence that your boyfriend did nothing threatening.
Keep communication clean:
- Limit any messages to short, factual statements.
- Avoid arguments or emotional messages that could be twisted into “harassment.”
Prepare for court, if necessary:
- Bring documentation showing your boyfriend acted responsibly.
- Emphasize that the children’s best interests are being maintained (Minn. Stat. § 518.17).
Stay aware:
Even though your boyfriend doesn’t pose a risk, always stay alert to any escalation. Contact law enforcement if your ex ever becomes threatening or harassing.
Bottom Line
Based on what you’ve told me, it is unlikely that a judge would grant a restraining order against your boyfriend for simply asking about a personal belonging—especially when no threats or harassment occurred.
Still, keeping thorough documentation and staying proactive will help protect you if your ex tries to pursue anything legally.
Thank you. Is there any way to get a copy of this chat?
You can copy and paste it into an email.
Okay, thank you.
You’re welcome. Anything else?
I’m working on custody paperwork. Can I send it for you to look over?
Unfortunately, we can’t review documents.
Ah okay.
Anything else?
No, that’s all.
I wish you the best.
